It’s Monday morning. You’re lying in bed, listening to your alarm going off on the bedside table. The first alarm was loud and insistent. It had every expectation of waking you up. Now, however, after hitting the ‘snooze’ button for the third time, it sounds more like a plea. It’s Monday morning, and you just can’t.
We’ve all been there. There are any number of reasons to miss work, some more legitimate than others. A death in the family, for instance, might be enough to get you excused for a couple of days. On the other hand, it might not. If, for example, the deceased is not an immediate family member you might be out of luck instead of out of work. No fair, you might think, and rightly so. Your great aunt Ethel was very dear to you, thank you very much.
Perhaps you and some friends were out late the night before getting some food and watching the game. You end up staying out later than you intended. Now back in the day a late night was nothing. But apparently back in the day is really far back there, because you feel wretched. Its days like this you wonder, not for the first time, why a hangover is not considered a legitimate excuse.
But what if you are truly ill? Surely your professor will take your word for it. You are, after all, an exceptionally mediocre student. You may have a B- in the class, but you have at least a B+ for effort. The sad reality, however, is that you will most likely be expected to show up for school, despite the fact that you may or may not be dying of plague.
It’s a fact of life that you will eventually have to bail on a commitment. Sometimes said commitment is optional. More often, however, it is mandatory and a simple “I can’t make it” won’t suffice. Fake doctor’s notes exist for just such occasions. The internet gives us easy access to things once unavailable. It is now possible to find, customize and print your very own doctor’s note.
There are many websites dedicated to providing you with these ‘get out of jail free’ cards. Most provide different templates that you can download and customize according to your needs. While these notes may be the Hail Mary of excuses, exercise caution. Here are some tips to help keep you employed, enrolled and adored even when cancelling.
When using a fake doctor’s note, never use a disease you don’t understand. Explaining why your leprosy simply vanished can be an awkward conversation. This also applies to injuries. Bones don’t heal overnight; not even a faux break. Always spell check your note once you’ve customized. Notes with spelling or grammatical errors are more likely to be red-flagged; given that your note is from a ‘doctor’.
And there you have it! Follow these rules and you’ll be “recovering” on a beach in no time.